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It’s too hot for housework, or anything else - Sequoyah County Times: Columnist Sally Maxwell

It’s too hot for housework, or anything else

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Posted: Friday, August 10, 2012 9:30 am

Now that the 2012 Olympics are over, what shall I do?

Of course those simple chores still await me. You know, the house cleaning, the dish washing, the laundry, the ironing. Ugh!

Faced with those boring chores I’ll go back to my original excuse to avoid all housework — it’s too hot!

OK We did have one day of livable weather last week, and a bit of rain. But those temps shot right back up into that unwanted 100-degree range. That means I sit on the couch with a good book in front of the air conditioner, repeating that mantra…It’s too hot! It’s too hot! That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, literally.

The three others who share my home feel the same, and display their discomfort in a similar manner. They are my house pets Holly, Nutter and Penny. You know, I wouldn’t want to be even a pampered house pet because they have to spend the whole summer in their fur coats. But my bunch seeks relief in amazing ways.

My pretty black and white Holly tries to maintain her beauty in the heat. Holly refuses to get out of the bathtub. No, she’s not in the tub with water. She likes to curl up on the cool porcelain.

Holly sometimes ventures out at feeding time, but that’s only because I refuse to put her kibble in my tub. And she is well warned in advance of all pending showers. Still she lays against the cool surface until the last moment before the shower begins, and acts miffed if even a drop falls on her pretty fur coat.

Then she waits patiently until I hop out of the tub so she can continue her morning ritual, which absolutely drives my crazy. For some reason Holly loves to wind around my wet ankles and feet. Maybe she thinks I should dry off quicker. Holly is so adamant about that morning ritual I have given up yelling at her to quit, go away, or get back in the tub, and if she doesn’t I will stomp on her tail. I just towel off fast.

Then there’s that other house cat Nutter. Age is creeping up on Nuts, as he’s called for short. He even seems to have cut back on mouse hunting. To his credit, I found half a mouse in Nut’s food bowl last week. I try to look at the bright side. Half a mouse is better than none.

Still, Nuts shares my attitude. If it’s over 100 degrees, it’s too hot to hunt. That leads to the sure-to-happen result. Nuts and I are both getting fatter.

To compensate, Nutter has figured out the best place to chill out — in front of the air conditioner in the dining room. That’s where I find him every evening when I come home from work. But he takes a different attitude for a cat. Nuts, who must weigh about 20 pounds at this point, likes to stretch out flat on his fat tummy on the dining table bench, with all four legs pointing down and in different directions, and his nose pointed straight at the air conditioner.

The first time I found Nuts in that position he looked like a fuzzy flat-cat Frisbee. I checked his breathing and no, he wasn’t dead as I had feared. Just finding the best way to be comfortably cool.

My house dog Penny must have been watching Nutter from a different angle. I decided that the first time I found little Penny in front of the fan I put in the living room to help circulate the air-conditioned breeze. But Penny doesn’t like the stomach position. Penny prefers the flat-on-the-back pose, spread-eagled in front of the fan.

Then the temps went up even higher, and Penny came up with a new plan, which directly interfered with mine. During the Olympics I’ve been sitting on our really stout (thank goodness) coffee table in order for my grandma eyes to better see the competition and the scores. Of course the living room fan is pointed straight at me.

Last week I jumped up to grab a pop during a commercial. I came back to find my coffee-table seat usurped. Yep, Penny wanted that place in front of the fan. I sternly told her that was my place and to “Get down!” She obeyed. But the very next time I rose, she jumped back onto the coffee table. This situation evolved into a race. I observed with humor just how fast little Penny could get up on that table. She was on that table before I could even get out of the room. She set a world record for coffee-table jumping dogs. If I stood up, she jumped up!

I didn’t have the heart to demand she get down any more. I even offered to share. But she would have none of that. So now I leave the fan on, pointed at the coffee table every day for Penny’s comfort when I’m not at home. I decided if Penny wanted the coffee table, and if Holly wanted the bathtub, and Nutter wanted the dining table bench, they should have them as long as this heat wave continues.

That decision is for all our sakes, because it’s too hot!

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