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November 21, 2023

Thanksgiving memories and a holiday bucket list

By Lynn Adams Staff Writer

There are at least two things universally accepted about this week and tomorrow’s national holiday, Thanksgiving — travel is the busiest of the year, and family is at the center of the celebration.

In the warmth of our hearts and memories is Thanksgiving with loved ones, those we see often and, possibly more importantly, those we see too infrequently. The traditional Norman Rockwell or Currier & Ives kind of Thanksgiving gatherings are usually depicted as including at least three generations of family, with more food than can be eaten during the four-day holiday period, but always in a cozy household atmosphere of kith and kin, excitement, love and peace.

Depending on destinations for Thanksgivings past and present — whether over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house or just across town for a day of food, fellowship and quite often football — it’s a cherished holiday that takes a backseat only to Christmas for most families.

When I was growing up, schools dismissed for only two days — Thanksgiving and Friday — instead of the week-long vacation that occurs these days. And the fourth week of November usually meant a family roadtrip to Mountain Top, Ark., for Thanksgiving with my maternal grandparents. They lived in the most rural area I’d ever seen, 12 miles northeast of Ozark just across the Johnson County line, the final six miles being dirt road for the steep climb up the mountain.

While I have distinct memories of those visits to “The Mountain,” as my family called it — a five-foot-tall Warm Morning coal-burning stove in the living room as the only heat source for the fiveroom house my grandfather built in 1947, and sleeping under multiple quilts covering the beds in ice-cold bedrooms — my memories are just as strong about the four-hour trip from Glencoe (near Stillwater) along rural Oklahoma highways before I-40 was completed in Sequoyah and Muskogee counties.

My parents, three siblings and I would pile into our two-door 1966 Ford Fairlane and head to Arkansas. But it was what awaited us at about the halfway point that I dreaded — the one-lane old U.S. 64 bridge over the Arkansas River at Webbers Falls. To be sure, our journey was literally over the river and then through the woods.

My fear of heights along with claustrophobia surely accentuated the narrowness of the bridge — I remember it being just barely wide enough for a single vehicle — as well as the distance above the river — it seemed like it was twice as high as it was — and I envisioned the bridge falling apart beneath our tires, which was surely why it was replaced with a new bridge in 1969. Adding to my dread was that it was usually after dark when we traversed the span, so it seemed even scarier.

Such was the tapestry of my boyhood Thanksgiving memories. The visit to “The Mountain” was always welcomed, the food most certainly was a highlight, even the bone-chilling nights were endurable. My problem was just crossing the river via what I recall being the narrowest, most rickety bridge in the world. (Who do you know that remembers that one-lane crossing?)

But everyone’s Thanksgiving is different, a holiday built on a foundation of family traditions and often shaped by our memories, whether vivid or fading.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but there’s more we can do during this time of giving thanks than just eat- ing. Whether the holiday includes parades, football, napping or bargain shopping, we can all accumulate a bucket list for the ultimate Thanksgiving celebration.

Watch the parade

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is now one of the most famous holiday traditions. In New York City, thousands of people line the streets of Manhattan for a front-row view of the giant inflatable balloons that float between the skyscrapers, as well as musical and dance performances that seem to occur at the drop of a hat. And when Santa’s sleigh appears at the end of the parade, the festive holiday season officially begins.

Breakfast and more

Instead of starving yourself until dinner, start the day with a pie breakfast, or any other “non-traditional” breakfast. Think outside the breakfast box. Then, while dinner’s being prepared, enjoy a light beverage as you mingle and watch the parade.

Absentee guests

Take a page from the pandemic. Connect with family and friends who can’t be part of your get-together by setting up a virtual happy hour or video call before, after or even during the meal. Even those far away will feel like they’re part of the special gathering.

Creative place settings

Use old family photos as a nostalgic touch and to inspire “remember when” conversation. After eating, watch old family movies or flip through photo albums for a few good laughs (and possibly tears, too). Homemade place cards and heirloom dishes infuse vintage vibes for your Thanksgiving table.

Dine alfresco

There’s just something romantic and special about alfresco dining. If we’re lucky, Oklahoma’s weather may cooperate to allow you to move your feast outdoors. If it’s a bit chilly, portable heaters or a nearby fire pit can warm your guests.

The main event — the meal

No Thanksgiving is complete without the traditional meal of roast turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce — and the irreconcilable debate of jellied from a can vs. homemade — sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and fluffy dinner rolls. Pumpkin pie with a generous dollop of whipped cream, of course, completes the meal. Don’t want to do all the cooking? Include guests in the fun by inviting everybody to bring their best dish.

Bless the food

While the focus is on food, don’t forget to express gratitude for family, friends and food with a meaningful Thanksgiving prayer or Thanksgiving poem.

Giving thanks

Thanksgiving is a perfect time to reflect on the year alongside family and friends. Whether during the meal or while relaxing later, ask everyone to share something for which they are grateful. It’s heartwarming to hear others relate their favorite moments and experiences from the previous year. If you’re serving wine, ask everyone to make a Thanksgiving toast.

The wishbone tradition

After the turkey is carved, the wishbone — in the South, many call it the pulley bone — is set aside for the ceremonial good luck superstition when two people make their wishes then pull against each other to break the wishbone. Whoever ends up with the bigger piece is said to have their wish come true as well as good luck for the coming year.

It’s nap time

After possibly the biggest meal of the year, it’s not unusual that many retreat to the couch or a comfy recliner for an afternoon nap. Turkey, of course, is the well-known culprit with its high levels of the amino acid tryptophan, which makes us drowsy. But it’s not entirely the turkey’s fault. Foods high in sugar — did someone mention pie? — also increase tiredness. But on this usually busy holiday, everyone deserves some rest.

Watch football

If you’re not napping — and even if you are — watching football is a popular pastime on Thanksgiving. The NFL lineup consists of Green Bay at Detroit, Washington at Dallas and San Francisco at Seattle. The college football schedule has the Egg Bowl — Ole Miss at Mississippi State — on Thanksgiving, and Friday games include TCU at OU, Missouri at Arkansas and Texas Tech at Texas. If you want to burn some Thanksgiving calories, some families split into teams for a game of touch football.

Don’t forget the kids

Keep children occupied both before and after the meal with a craft table stocked with Thanksgiving coloring sheets and turkey-themed craft projects.

Friendsgiving

Because most people celebrate Thanksgiving with family, making time to give thanks with friends has grown in popularity as a newer tradition. Gather with friends, share a meal and enjoy each other’s company on days adjacent to the family holiday.

Sharing family time

A good old-fashioned game night keeps the family together after the meal. Depending on the game, kids and adults alike get in on the action for a memorable evening.

To combat your guests mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds, ask older relatives to share a few of their favorite family stories. You’ll undoubtedly find that families that know and tell family stories are emotionally closer.

Don’t forget to snap several photos to commemorate the occasion. Maybe you’ll all dress in coordinating, holiday-themed pajamas. Gather for a group pic that everyone can share on social media with clever captions.

If nothing else, gather together in front of the TV to watch a classic Thanksgiving movie or two. Logical choices are “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” “Miracle on 34th Street” or “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” but other possibilities are “Holiday Inn” and “Home for the Holidays.”

Shop ’til you drop

It’s almost impossible to think about Thanksgiving without including the shopping mayhem of Black Friday. While e-commerce has impacted traditional shopping, there are those who still stand in line for hours early on the day after Thanksgiving to cash in on great discounts and start the Christmas shopping season.

Visit a tree farm

If Black Friday’s not on your agenda, kick off the Christmas season with a trip to a nearby Christmas tree farm. (There’s major bonus points if you chop down your tree yourself.) Once you return home, go ahead and let everyone deck the halls by decorating for Christmas. ’ Tis the season.

Giving back

Giving thanks can also include helping others. Many communities conduct food drives for those less fortunate. In Sallisaw, the annual community Thanksgiving dinner is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. today at Sallisaw Middle School. Event planners expect to serve 600 people at the free event, and the community is asked to donate desserts for the meal. Volunteers are always welcome.

Other possibilities include:

• Play festive music as a soundtrack for your gathering

• Create a festive entryway with bountiful holiday decor

• Participate in a turkey trot