I sure do love cowboy music

Boy, I sure do love cowboy music. Now I don’t mean stuff like “Grandma Tied Me Up With Her Scarf So I Can’t Go To My Sweetie’s House Tonight.” Nope.

Well, to be completely honest, there is a place for that, too. But to achieve the right mood for that kinda music, you must

1. Prepare your taste buds with a couple of jiggers of Old Overcoat,

2. Write home and lie about how much money you make.

And of course 3. Borrow your buddy’s shooting ear muffs and try them out to see that he wasn’t cheated by buying them.

No, I mean cowboy music. Roy Rogers, Sons of the Pioneers, Gene Autry, Steve Cormier and a bunch more. These are the true songs of the campfires under starry skies. But there are some of us not blessed with the correct tonsils and when others hear us sing, they start dreaming of Belgravia, wherever that is.

So the secret is to do all your singing on the back of a horse. A slow horse. If he’s hard of hearing, all the better. And ride that ol’ cayuse in drag on a herd of cattle which isn’t in a rush to get somewhere.

And about a half mile from the next water stop, when those cows start complaining loudly to the Western skies, open ‘er up, Pard. Let the music out.

Sing as loud as Roy or Gene would’ve done. And, if it turns out your version of “Goodbye Ol’ Paint” isn’t as good as others sing it … just look around. No one can hear you. Hey, therein lies the secret to success in cowboy music.

“Goodbye Ol’ Paint, I’m-a leavin’ Cheyenne…” See?

Brought to you by Sweetgrass Mornings, a memoir of sorts. I think you’ll like it. Published by University of New Mexico Press. In most bookstores.